Someone explain this

I thought briefly, yesterday, that something was amiss with my car when I was running errands. But I didn’t think too much on it, and I didn’t really notice anything wrong until this morning.

Driving in to work, I realized MY WINDSHIELD WIPERS WERE STOLEN. Not just the blades, mind you, but both wipers – mechanisms and all.

Are these things of value on the street? Is this just a drunken thing for kicks? This is absolutely baffling to me.

Is this some kind of karmic justice, for all those times in middle school when I snuck out at night with Craig and Aaron? When we scoped our neighborhoods with wirecutters and flashlights, stealing hood ornaments off cars and making keychains out of the cool ones? Because at least THAT shit served some purpose.

Seriously. Cadillac keychain. That shit was hot.

But… windshield wipers?