Went
out to lunch today with Justin and Ben. This afternoon's food marks the
first solid food I've had since Saturday evening. Well, the first solid
food I've been able to keep down.
Mike's
Bachelor Party
Ah,
let's get to the festivities from the weekend, shall we? Mike, who works
at Q101, is getting married soon, and had a bunch of guys celebrating
his impending married status.
Start
of the day. This is around 4 PM, and everyone's gathered at Mike's
to have a few beers before we go. Introductions are made, I meet
a few good folks whose name I try and remember as the night wears
on. The alcohol does its best to keep me from remembering.
That's
Dave on the left there, Brandon with his hat, and I think that's
Pat.
Someone
brought along a stack of "chasers," and a few tried them
out.
But
not me. Because I'm a man.
The
busman cometh. Here will be our transportation for the rest of the
evening. It's about an hour or so from here to the stripclub...
which apparently is located on the moon. There was some deal between
the strip club (Diamond's) and Q101, and all of us were getting
in free.
Get
on the bus! Keep in mind now, that this is an actual school bus.
There were kids' pictures on the inside, and the back signs had
information about which route it was on.
And
I have to say, having a beer on a school bus? It's the same, wonderful
sensation I experienced back in 1st grade. Nothing tops it.
Here's
me, boarding. Note that our driver (Jay) has on driving gloves.
:|
Stopping
to stock up. Everyone got at LEAST a six pack. We weren't allowed
to bring beer inside the strip club, but we could bring hard liquor.
Not sure why this makes sense, but hey - their rules. So I chip
in some money, and go in on a bottle of Maker's Mark with Pat.
Mike,
groom to be, and Pat. Working on the first beers of the evening.
Uh,
the first beers on the bus for the evening. :)
Joe,
showing the kind of drinking gusto that truly makes him a king among
men.
Phil
and I believe this is Jeff. We were all hanging out, every window
down, cruising along the highway. Before we arrived, I had a few
beers in me already, and we were making it a habit of yelling at
anything and everyone out the windows.
At
one point, we passed an ambulance driven by two female paramedics.
After a few seconds of shouting and twirling our hands in the air...
they hit the siren for us.
hehehe.
That was pretty great. By the time I had my camera out, they had
turned off the lights and pulled away. Doh!
We
arrived about 30 minutes ahead of schedule, so we stopped off to
get some food in our bellies. Half of us went to Steak and Shake,
the other uncivilized filth went off to Wendy's.
Instantly,
on walking in, we silenced the place. We were all still on "drinking
bus" volume, and were a bit loud as we entered the establishment.
Overall though, I think we kept our behaviour fairly well. Got some
food in our systems, and headed off to the strip club.
So...
no pictures allowed inside. This is us, shortly after we walked
back outside, about 2 hours later. I was hitting the Maker's Mark
pretty hard the whole time inside here, and throwing it down like
water. Felt fine though, and belted away.
To
be honest, I felt like I should have been questioning my heterosexuality
inside this place. All around me were naked women, and there was
just nothing - no arousal, no nothing.
Objectively,
the women were all stunningly gorgeous. Every one of them. But I
wasn't thinking about their bodies so much as I was thinking "Jebus,
how in the hell are you hanging that high off a pole?"
At
one point, one of the dancers came up to me, sat down on my leg,
and put her arms around me. She leaned in and looked me right dead
in the eyes. At that point, I could see why some guys are hooked
on places like this. Having a beautiful woman stare at you dead
on like that is a pretty powerful thing. That one moment felt pretty
intense and personal. But it all immediately dissipated when she
opened her mouth and asked if "I wanted to play with her pink
pussy."
I said
"No, sorry." She shrugged, gave me a kiss on the cheek
and moved on. I felt embarassed, actually, for both of us. It
all just felt distant. Uninvolved. Clinical.
Here's
one thing I'm happy about. I got to hang out with some of the guys
from work more. Joe and Dave, Phil and Mike, I see them daily but
rarely get a chance to interact. I got sloppy, stupid drunk around
them and actually talked at length with Dave about how much we loved
our workplace - the environment, the people. I got to drink with
folks I don't normally drink with, and that part of the night was
a complete blast.
We
wander off to find the bus, and to start in on the beer once more.
Jay,
the driver. I made him show us his driving gloves. That's Phil behind
him.
Poor
Jay. Look at his face. He's looking at me like he's saying "You
guys are all just gonna get worse." hehehehe.
There
was a lot of yelling and a lot of pounding on the roof with our
hands. I don't know how Jay managed to drive with all of us screaming
like we did.
I...
uh, don't remember taking this picture.
Phil,
taking a break and on the phone. Multitasking as usual.
Driving
down some road, on our way to Caesar's. Again... I don't recall
taking this video.
Uh...
I don't really remember taking this picture. That would be my unfinished
mango margarita on th etable. Shortly after this point in time,
I somehow stumbled upstairs, found a cab and promptly passed out
in the back seat. I woke up to the cabbie telling me we had arrived
at my house, and I made it inside my apartment.
After
several hours of sleeping, I woke up drunk and greeted a full day's
worth of hurting.
